you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
