We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
