it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
