You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
