Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
