The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
