Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I look better un-naked...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
