ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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