he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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