Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
