Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i now understand why vodka
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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