OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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