She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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