I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
