When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
