"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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