I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
