May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
