he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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