I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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