her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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