you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize