And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
