like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Enjoy the penises
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
