apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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