I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize