Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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