i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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