She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Randomize
