Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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