I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
