she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
