my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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