I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
