I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
