spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
