I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
