If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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