I hate all girls vehemently.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
