My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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