Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
bring money and cleavage
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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