I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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