I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
