the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
