I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
