Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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