Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
