I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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