I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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