So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I want to walk on stilts...naked
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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