That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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