One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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