i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
