sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
