i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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