how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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