Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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