Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
