I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
