I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i think i just lost a toe
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
