I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
honey bunches of taint.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
