Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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